Feeling like you have impostor syndrome? This post explains what it’s about and why we want to be seen, through Identity Theory.
Ditch the Ego (and Freud)
Did Freud “discover the ego” or did he create it? When he and his associates began psychoanalysis in the late 1800’s, they were trying to discover the hidden world inside people and analyze how one negotiates the relationship between self and other in society. He labeled the “ego” as that which controls our unconscious drives to fit the expectations of society. The ironic thing about psychology is that the lens that one looks through tends to create the content that one analyzes. So Freud’s conclusions about the ego and sexual and aggressive drives may have been true for him, but it’s just as likely that he projected that onto his subjects and, because of his prominence, the world at large. Most of his colleagues at the time departed from his notions and psychology has largely moved on without his core theories, but for some reason the concept of the ego remains in popular culture. The other irony about psychology is that if you believe that you have an ego that controls you, makes you selfish, or separates you from others, then you do. It’s similar to how seeing a line of people waiting outside of a door will automatically lead you to believing and behaving as if the door is locked. There are indeed boundaries between self and other, and the analysis of this relationship has been the bedrock of social and developmental psychology for the last 60 years, but this conversation has gone on mostly without Freud and the ego. The first step towards understanding your self? Ditch the concept of the ego.
The common consensus among developmental psychologists today is that you have a self, not an ego, that develops over time. The self is a construct that emerges in the mind through language, play, and games at a young age. You will notice that when a child starts speaking, they develop a “mind” of their own and learn how to say no and make demands. This discovery of self is a fun one to watch. From there a person continues to learn about their self in relationship to others by observing the reactions and responses they receive to different gestures, which the mind interprets as interacting symbols. This complex process is how we learn, from a young age, what separates self from other, and how our emotions respond when we do.
What about the unconscious drives? What do I control and what separates my self from others?
Freud believed that we needed the ego to control our unconscious and otherwise beastly drives for sex and aggression. This, again, is true only if you believe it. It is much more helpful to think of consciousness in terms of awareness, and drives in terms of motivations. Consciousness can be considered “that which you are aware of in the present moment.” Anything that is “unconscious” can theoretically become available to us at any time with the right stimulus. It is also much more helpful to think of drives in terms of motivations. Deci and Ryan’s seminal work on motivation, Self-Determination Theory, lays out that the self is driven by desires for competence, relatedness, and autonomy. As for biological drives, they do exist, but these manifest socially anyways. For example, our need for food and shelter may partly “drive” our desire for competence. We know that if we become skilled at something, and add value to society, we can survive. Our physical drive for sex is part of the self’s desire for relatedness, in that if we understand and replicate behaviors that are valued in partnership or group membership, we will have greater chances for sexual relations and reproduction. I believe everybody should learn about evolutionary psychology, but it’s a huge injustice to humanity to view everything in terms of power, dominance, mating, selection, etc, all the time because they are only part of the puzzle and many people have these needs met or have outgrown them. Beyond our basic need for survival, we have social selves.
If we go any deeper into the self and what drives us, we must speak of identity and emotion. To avoid the personal projection and social creation that psychologists fall victim to (like Freud and the ego), I take a sociological approach. Professors Stets and Burke of University of California Riverside, among others, have done outstanding empirical and theoretical work on identity that completely aligns with Deci and Ryan’s theory of self-determination described above. Burke and Stets lay out that we have role-identities (competence), group identities (relatedness), and personal identities (autonomy). So I may identify as a coach (role), an American (group), and a volunteer (personal). All of these identities, among others, are aligned and “prioritized” in a complex salience network that dictates the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors my self performs at any given moment. Identity verification is the driver, and emotions are the things that help us pump the gas, hit the brakes, and switch gears. We sense emotions in terms of valence (positive and negative) and arousal (intensity) and they guide us with information about how well we are maintaining, verifying, or enhancing the identities with which we associate. An easy example I can use to explain this is through the phenomenon of “imposter syndrome” that many experience in academic, work, or other social settings. It’s also very pertinent to discussions about the fears of public speaking.
Imposter Syndrome is an Identity Verification Process
Identity theory states that individuals feel positive emotions when they receive identity verification from their environment, and negative emotions if not. This means that I will feel some variation of joy if an identity that I hold is recognized in my environment, and some negative emotions if my identity is unverified. Negative emotions are also at play if an identity that I do not want to hold (like a clown) is ascribed to me. When we enter into new environments or make an adaptive change, we are not always sure what this feedback will be like, or where it will come from. Even in established and familiar environments, the problem persists. In academia, for example, imposter syndrome is very prevalent. If I am the expert on quantum physics, and nobody cites my research, am I really an expert? If nobody attends my talks, am I an imposter? How many citations or attendees make me the expert? We can also think about the student perspective. If a student speaks in class and the professor just moves on to the next topic, does the student belong here? This phenomenon of imposter syndrome and the negatively valanced emotions of fear/anger/sadness (or many refer to anxiety) are all be explained in Identity Theory as a result of or process within “non-verification.”
Unfortunately, you cannot avoid the emotions involved in the identity verification process. Identity is a two-way street and so we are roped into this whether we like it or not. There are, however, some steps you can take to reduce the uncertainty and perhaps the amount of negative emotions during a change, whenever you are sharing and speaking in new environments, or otherwise doing something outside of your comfort zone. The first thing is to be aware of the exchange structure in your new environment. With whom can you expect to interact? Can you expect negotiated, reciprocal, generalized, or productive exchanges? What is your role in each exchange? The second is to think about resources and signs. What resources are valued by the group and who holds them? What are the signs of verification and non-verification? Lastly, think about emotion. What are some emotions that can be expected if my identity is not verified or otherwise threatened? Avoid pathologizing and unhelpful words like anxiety and depression. Perhaps you will feel fear if your identity is threatened. Or maybe it will be anger. Perhaps you will feel sadness if you are unseen. Most importantly, how will you regulate these emotions? What will you express, and to whom? Understanding the identity processes and anticipating the associated emotions will empower you to thrive when making any change. My programs at Adaptive Edge Coaching are geared specifically towards empowering people to make life changes and develop themselves confidently in uncertain environments. Visit www.adaptiveedgecoaching.com to learn more get started today.
