Psychologists have gone to wits end to describe what motivates people. This can be seen in the drive theories of Freud and the psychoanalysts, the operant conditioning of Skinner in behavioral psychology, and the work on self-determination theory by social psychologists Deci and Ryan, to name a few. So what do identity theorists have to say about what motivates us in life? In the Handbook of Identity Theory and Research, Vivian Vignoles reveals research about how your identity has a major influence on your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. In this post I will give a brief background on identity from a developmental perspective, explain the key points of Vignoles’ research, and then ground it in some real-world examples to show why identity motivations should matter to all of us.
We Become Conscious of Identity in Stage 3 – Adolescence
Object-relations focused developmental psychologists like Harvard’s Robert Kegan have detailed the importance of a person determining what is a part of them, versus the other, in the sequential development of the mind. This is the subject – object duality through which we experience the world. In the beginning stages of development, a baby has no barrier between self and other. The baby believes that when they close their eyes, the world shuts off. Object permanence results from the realization that external objects exist outside the self, typically around 7 months and this is stage 1 of development in Kegan’s model. Further down the line in stage 2, a child realizes that they are not their impulses, but that these too are objects external to the self that can be controlled. Mischel’s marshmallow test is a great example of children learning to manage this. Even after achieving impulse objectivity in Kegan’s second stage, a child is still subject to their enduring dispositions and needs. To them, a mood is not something one “has” that can be regulated or controlled, but rather it is something one “is,” inseparable from self. It’s the same, too, with point of view in this stage. A child only understands simple reciprocity, a tit-for-tat explanation of other people’s behavior. They learn that if they pass the ball, they will receive a pass back, and that the same also goes for kindness. You may have spent enough time around growing children to observe them learning this subject-object distinction for concrete as well as abstract things.
It is in adolescence, Kegan’s third stage, where point of view can be held as object and perspective taking becomes truly possible. By holding others’ point of view as object, a person in stage 3 is now subject to self-consciousness. Thus, around adolescence, the awareness of the constructive nature of identity is born in a person’s mind and the “lights go on” in terms of identity. This is when identity motives start calling the shots and why identity goals serve as a poignant explanation for the everyday interactions, long term plans, deepest insecurities, and the moments of joy we all strive for. Vignoles’ cross-cultural research has shown the universality of identity motives. He also says that “it is likely that people often will be unaware of their identity motives…”
Identity Motives – Defined and Explained
Identity motives are defined as “tendencies toward certain identity states and away from others, which guide the processes of identity definition and enactment.” Whereas needs like survival can push for certain ways of acting, Vignoles says that “identity motives push for certain ways of seeing oneself, which may thus necessitate engaging in certain actions.” In his wide ranging, and cross-cultural research, Vignoles discusses six identity motives that are central to understanding a person’s inner desires. They are: esteem, continuity, distinctiveness, subjective meaning, efficacy, and belonging. I will define them briefly here:
- Esteem – The esteem motive refers to a person’s motive to feel self-worth. This one is simple, people want to like the person they see in the mirror!
- Continuity – The continuity motive refers to the need to feel a sense of connection between one’s past, present, and future identities. Continuity is not the absence of change, but that there is some conceptual thread connecting past, present, and future time-slices of identity, despite the occurrence of change.
- Distinctiveness – Research has shown that when defined as difference, social position, and separateness, motivations for distinctiveness appear in all cultures in various forms.
- Difference – Distinctiveness in qualities such as abilities, opinions, personality, and appearance.
- Social position – Distinctiveness in one’s place within social relationships, including kinship, friendship, roles, and social status
- Separateness – Distinctiveness in terms of distance from others, encompassing physical and symbolic boundaries and feelings of privacy, independence, and isolation.
- Subjective Meaning – The meaning motive refers to the need to find significance or purpose in one’s existence. Subjective meaning helps us cope with uncertainty and also research has shown that people seek to “identify with groups that have very clearly defined meanings, especially under subjective uncertainty” (Hogg 2007).
- Efficacy – The efficacy motive pushes for feelings of competence and control. People desire to feel and see themselves as having capability of influencing their environment.
- Belonging – The belonging motive refers to the need to maintain or enhance feelings of closeness to others, or social acceptance, both in interpersonal relationships and within groups.
When Does This Show up in Coaching?
At Adaptive Edge Coaching, my work with clients encompasses the following areas. Here’s how identity motives have shown up in each.
Life-Changes
Consider a person going for a new job. In addition to wanting to have an impact, have room for growth, and of course make money, a big part of a person’s job satisfaction comes down to relatedness and belonging. Are the people I work with going to energize me or work against me? Will there be office politics or will it be a welcoming environment? Belonging is a universal motive we all weigh when starting a new venture. Similarly, efficacy plays a major role in this context. If a person takes a job, they want to be reasonably sure that they can perform the job well. It is hazardous to health to be thrust into a position where you are setup to fail. Efficacy is such a strong motive for people and that many tend to hyper-focus on it in the form of perfectionism, especially if other areas of their life are out of sorts.
Healing
It can be incredibly healing to make adaptive changes in life. The Immunity to Change coaching method helps people to come to terms with their past and create new futures, changing habits of behavior and overcoming self-limiting beliefs. One of the primary motives that comes to light in this context is the motive for meaning. When completing the biography exercise, clients dig deep into life events and construct meanings in light of the research on identity and emotion. This correlation between meaning and healing can be seen in the Narrative Exposure Therapy technique for treating trauma, or more generally the emphasis on emotional expression found in most counseling practices. Continuity also plays a major role in healing through change. If a person is going through a grief process, it is likely that they may not be the “same person” ever again. Which aspects of themselves were truly them? Which aspects of themselves were performed in favor of the person who is now gone? A person’s desire for continuity can also feed intense fears around change and become a major reason that goals become blocked.
Soft Skills and Performance
Many people’s goals involve being more assertive, expressive, or developing effective communication and performance habits at work or in relationships. I have combined my deep knowledge of developmental psychology, identity, and emotion with my training in negotiations and difficult conversations to specialize in helping people change these exact things. This is where I see the distinctiveness motive show up most often. Ironically, it is usually that this motive is desired but feared by many people. Many times people do not want to be assertive or expressive because they do not want to be seen as selfish, rude, or aggressive, and its usually the case that these people have been socialized into being too selfless and uncomfortable with having their own needs for distinctiveness met. For some, it can be quite scary to reveal difference of opinion or to speak out of the turn of their social position, but with role plays, self-reflection, and incremental testing, I have helped people form completely new patterns of expression and walk confidently into new relationships and careers.
Explore Further…
I find that looking at motivation through the lens of identity provides great insight into the way we think, feel, and reveals why change can be either incredibly difficult or empowering. Hopefully you found some bits of insight here too. You can take a look at my Client Testimonials and some of my other writing on identity, emotion, and change in coaching to learn more. Each of my specialty areas listed above focuses on helping a person overcome their current habits to change certain aspects of themselves, their relationships, their environment, or all of the above. Contact me with any questions or to set up a free initial consultation.
